Boys Boys Boys

p.s- photo is from when I was on holiday this summer. A v happy, fun time. It will come again!

I’m gonna be honest- I have had a rough few days. Work has just been disgusting, flatmate stuff has been stressful, and honestly I’ve felt rather homesick. No idea why as I’ve been away from home for 5 months, so It’s weird that I would only begin to feel homesick now. Although, I realised yesterday that this is actually the longest I’ve gone without seeing my family, as last year they came up and visited in October half term (obviously couldn’t this year due to corona). And maybe, if I’m being honest with myself, it’s harder to be away from your family when uni isn’t quite going to plan due to a global pandemic. If I was distracted by subway and waterpolo and socials, I’m sure I wouldn’t even feel the need to write this blog. But I do feel the need, so here we are.

But there were many good things about these last few days. I had a fab gym set, when I cycled and quick walked and my foot hurt a lot less than usual, I saw my new flatmate for coffee which was lovely, and I finally got my head around my fugue that’s due on Wednesday. So overall, life could definitely be worse. And even better, I go home next week. Divine. So to lighten up my previous mood I thought I’d finish with what used to be my biggest priority and now has rapidly dropped down the list (Grr uni work, grr pandemic). Therefore enjoy some juicy info on my past boys boys boys.

This is a brief history of my rather dense and complicated love life. Which not going to lie, doesn’t have much to do with sport or mental health. But its funny, and light-hearted, and I think we could all use a bit of that right now.

So where to begin. Well I’ve always been that girl that was a massive hopeless romantic. Wedding planned down to the dress? Tick. Countless Pointless Infatuations? Tick. Writer of heartbreak songs? Triple tick. Now this may make me sound incredibly desperate. But the truth is, I’m actually not. I just fall easily, and when I do fall- I fall hard. I don’t actually want a boyfriend right now- but I just want to know that when It does happen, I’ll have that ‘movie’ love. I’ll fall in love with a guy who would hold a rose in his bum for me like adam did for Rachel in cold feet, or will get off the plane like Rachel did for Ross. Soppy as hell I know.

But where did it all begin. I’m going to be honest I can’t actually remember all the crushes I had because I literally had a different crush every week (Amy can vouch for this).

Well the first crush I can properly remember was a guy at school who was just so beautiful I DIED. 13 year old Ette was completely and utterly besotted. My mum went through a stage of buying teacakes and I was SO very besotted that I actually remember pretending for 4 years that I didn’t like teacakes, just so I could give them all to him. To sacrifice food for a boy surely proves my infatuation. (I would NOT do this now hehe)

Then the next biggest crush I can remember was a friend crush (which Is just generally dangerous ground) and this guy I was actually properly in love with for a really long time. I was Iris in the Holiday. For those of you who don’t know Iris, she’s mahoosively in love with this guy who gets with a load of other people whilst being v aware of her feelings and using her slightly because of them. (This is no hate against this guy. He’s actually one of my closest guy friends today. But it was a tad rocky for a while).

And then I had a boyfriend for a time (who I can’t actually count as one of my biggest crushes, whoops) which ended pretty rapidly when he discovered I was still in love with the friend. Whoops. T

At this point we’re at 6^th form, where for pretty much the whole time I had a thing with this guy who we’ll call Joseph, who I can honestly say I liked the most I’ve ever liked anyone. Sadly though, he still had the mental capacity of a 5 year old, and despite constant effort from me (And I think from him to some extent) he didn’t treat me all too well. Then, after hearing constant reassurances from him that when I went to uni It would all be better, I discovered in October of first year that he had a girlfriend. For 3 months. Oh And I found out from someone who wasn’t him. Lovely.

And since then I’ve just kind of been going through the same sort of pattern- falling for a guy, it ending, and getting upset. And I think I’ve worked out why.

I used to need boys to validate me. To make me feel special and worthy. But now I don’t need that. I mean don’t get me wrong it would be nice to have a boyfriend and feel loved- but I don’t actually need it anymore to be happy. I have my gorgeous friends and family to make me feel loved-and they make me feel more loved than a boy ever could.

I hope you enjoyed my v brief romantic history description- and that it cheered up your day slightly x