Early Years

(Above- Gold D of E. I am literally leaning on my knees because i'm so tired!)

Fitness and exercise have always been an integral part of my life. Mum has always encouraged me to exercise and therefore I’ve always done some kind of fitness thing, usually out of school. I started with swimming but struggled a lot with the ‘be the best or don’t bother’ culture so quit- also I had some ear issues where I was having to get my grommets replaced monthly as they kept coming out in the pool. I also did a bit of synchronised swimming during this time which was super fun- but again, we had the grommets problem, so I quit.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/glue-ear/

I then joined a waterpolo team after never having played before- And honestly, I loved it. I had a few good years of playing and really loving the sport. However, after a mix of GCSE stress and again, not being able to deal with the culture of it, I left. I think with polo the largest issue was you have to be very fit to play. Endurance is key. And I just wasn’t- I could barely last a quarter in the pool, let alone a whole match, and I was never very good. I really let my nerves get in the way.

I’m going to be honest- At school, I hated games and PE. My school did a games session a couple day a week when I was younger, and then for an afternoon when I was in sixth form. And I literally used to dread it. I dreaded the idea of putting on lycra and getting all sweaty and looking like an idiot in front of other people in my year. For my lower sixth year I had the option to go and teach children music instead, so I did, and in my upper sixth year I normally pleaded revision or UCAS to get out of it. I was also never the ‘sporty’ one- which is definitely an issue for girls (and probably boys) at school. If you aren’t in that ‘sporty’ clique, you don’t really play sport- which of course is absolutely ridiculous. Sport is for everyone, regardless of ability.

One thing I did do consistently at school was D of E- which I absolutely loved. For those of you that haven’t heard of D of E its basically an award that you achieve at 3 different levels, bronze, silver and gold- after going on an expedition (and a load of other things but the Exped is what I’ll focus on here). So, I did my gold in the summer of my final A level year with my bestie and despite being way too physically unfit for it, it was absolutely amazing. Would I have enjoyed it more if I did it now? Definitely (which Is why me and the same bestie’s walking holiday is currently pending planning)

So clearly, I didn’t hate exercise. Far from it. I just had a mental block about it- I was convinced I was awful at It, so I didn’t try.

I then went through a few years of attempting to gym- and to be fair it actually went well. I did see some results. However, I didn’t know enough about it to see massive results and with the stresses of A levels I was barely sleeping so didn’t have the time. So I stopped.  I was doing 4 A levels and an EPQ, so I had no free periods- meaning that when I got home I would have to work. And I cared so much about doing well- I remember most nights I would go to bed at 1 and get up at 4 to work. It was not healthy.

Throughout my last A level year I wasn’t working out at all- I was barely leaving the house except to go to school and this did have a massive affect on me mentally. Around the same time I fell out with all my friends (something which I believe was brought on by my bad mental health) which caused the deterioration of it even further. I really struggled.

Summer before uni was a lot better mentally- I crashed my sister’s waterpolo tournament and absolutely loved it and despite my extremely stressful A level results (don’t even ask) I ended up going to uni in early September. Since then, I’ve renewed my love for fitness and for sport- and honestly I can’t even imagine a life without it now. It’s now a crucial part of my day to keep my physically and more importantly mentally fit.

I love it. Go work out!